Twenty minutes with your hands resting on your breasts, finding out what is there. Then you paint it, on paper. Sun 22 Aug, N11.About this Event
Women can often tell me straight away what they don't like about their breasts.
Far fewer can tell me the last time they put a hand on them for any reason other than checking for a lump.
Looked at, rarely felt
For many women, this part of the body has been looked at for most of their lives and hardly ever felt. Photographed, measured, compared, judged, fed a baby with, scanned, and in between all of that, largely left alone.
So when a woman does put her own hands there slowly, with no purpose beyond finding out what is there, quite often she finds very little. A flatness. A distance. Sometimes nothing at all.
If that is you, you are not doing it wrong, and you are not the only one.
Numbness is not a verdict on your body. It can be what happens to a part of us that has been watched for years and rarely listened to. Attention can bring feeling back, slowly.
What the morning is
First, twenty minutes of listening. Lying down, warm, under a blanket, your own hands resting on your breasts on top of your clothes. Not stroking. Not doing anything. Resting, and feeling them from the inside.
I ask in Clean Language, which means I ask and then go quiet for a long time. What are you noticing. What kind of feeling is that. Whereabouts. Does it have a size, or a shape. And, near the end, one question that women very often find surprising: is there a difference between the left side and the right side?
I will not tell you what you are going to find. That is the whole design.
Then you paint what you found, on paper, with brushes. Not a picture of a breast. What it felt like in there. The meditation hands you something to paint: a quality, a place, a size, a colour, a difference between one side and the other. So nobody sits in front of a blank sheet wondering what to do.
You don't need to be any good at art. Two shapes side by side, a colour spreading across the page, a line, a cloud, a space: all of it counts. There is plenty of paper, and starting again is allowed.
Then we say what we found, to each other, in our own words. You can show your painting or keep it face down. This is women talking to each other rather than an exhibition, and the only thing anyone says about another woman's painting is something kind.
You take your painting home. And you can take the meditation home too: afterwards I'll send you a recording of it, in my voice, as a gift, if you would like it.
If you find nothing
Even nothing has a form. It has a shape, a size and a colour, like anything else.
If that is what comes, we find out what kind of nothing it is, and you paint that. It may well be the most honest painting in the room.
What this is, and what it is not
You stay dressed throughout. In this circle the touch is your own hands, on your own body, over your clothes. Some circles in the year include touch between women, always asked for and always your choice. This one doesn't.
Nothing sexual happens in this room. Something may stir, and that is not the same thing. If feeling rises, nothing has gone wrong. If very little stirs, that is welcome too.
A note on sensitivity
Putting attentive hands on a part of your body you may have been at odds with for years can bring feeling up. That is welcome here and it is held gently.
If you have scars, or you have had surgery, a reconstruction, implants or a mastectomy, you are welcome and your chest is not a problem in this room.
If you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or your breasts are tender for any reason, you are welcome too: your hands can rest wherever is comfortable. If there is active breast cancer in the tissue, or a lump that has not yet been investigated, please talk to me before you book.
This morning is not a health check and nothing in it replaces breast screening. If you notice anything that concerns you, please see your GP.
Practical details
When: Sunday 22nd August 2027, 11:00am to 1:30pm. Doors open 10:45.
Where: A warm, private home in North London (N11). The address is in your booking confirmation, and I'll send you a reminder a day or two before. Please note it is a first-floor flat, one flight of stairs up, and there is no step-free access to this circle.
Bring: Comfortable clothes you can lie down in, and that you don't mind a little paint near. Paper, brushes, paints and aprons are all here. Herbal teas and water are available throughout.
Group size: Small, often three or four women. Women come to these circles in their twenties and in their seventies, and every age in between.
Investment: Community £15 | Standard £20 | Supporter £25. Community pricing, so please choose the tier that reflects your situation.
Questions: [email protected] or +44 7876 706910.
Next month
September carries on from here. Your Breasts, Your Pleasure, on Sunday 19th September: your own hands again, this time learning what touch your breasts want. Most women do it under a t-shirt, and there is oil if you would like it. You don't have to come to both, and each stands completely on its own.
About your facilitator
Melanie Knight is a Certified Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Sex Educator. She runs small, unhurried circles where women can slow down and come back into their bodies, without pressure and without performance. Her approach is trauma-informed and consent-based.
Women's Circle 2027: A Year of Your Pleasure: Growing Into Your Desire
One Sunday a month, 11:00am to 1:30pm in North London (N11), except June's evening outdoors.
- 24 Jan What Turns You On Now
- 21 Feb The Dress You Never Wear
- 21 Mar Own Your Yes. Own Your No.
- 25 Apr Move Your Hips the Way You Want To
- 23 May The Art of Anticipation
- 20 Jun Sensual in the Wild (evening, outdoors)
- 25 Jul Loud and Proud
- 22 Aug What Your Breasts Know
- 19 Sep Your Breasts, Your Pleasure
- 17 Oct Good Girls Don't
- 14 Nov The Map You Were Never Given
- 12 Dec The Body's Own Fire
Book below.
Event venue
N11, Friern Barnet, London, United Kingdom
Concerts, fests, parties, meetups — all the happenings, one place.