Your sexuality keeps changing. Your ideas about it often don't. A fresh look at what turns you on now. Sun 24 Jan, London N11.About this Event
Somewhere along the way, you decided what you like.
Or it was decided for you. A first partner. A magazine quiz at fourteen. A long relationship with its own well-worn routine. A friend who said everybody loves this. A film you saw at the wrong age. And slowly it stopped being something you once noticed and became a fact about you.
I'm not that sexual. I like it this way. I'm the one who gives. That's not really me. I'm a bit vanilla. I don't really have a type.
Some of it may still be completely true. And some of it might be older than you think, and nobody has checked it since.
Your body has not stood still
Your sexuality keeps moving. Bodies change, partners come and go, life gets fuller or quieter, and what you want now is not necessarily what you wanted five years ago, or what you will want in five years' time.
The ideas often stay exactly where they were put. What you think turns you on. What you think you are like in bed. What counts as "you", sexually, and what doesn't. If one of those has started to feel a bit too tight, this morning is a place to set it down and look at it.
A fresh look, not a new you
January is full of voices telling you to become somebody else. This is not that. Nobody here is going to make you over, and nobody is going to tell you what you should want.
It is a morning to find out, with your body rather than your head, what turns you on now. Not what used to. Not what is supposed to. Now. You might find an old idea you are ready to let go of. You might find one that still fits perfectly, and that is a good answer too.
How the morning holds you
We begin by noticing, quietly, lying down or seated with a blanket, where desire lives in your body today, if anywhere. The questions are asked slowly and left alone in the quiet. Nobody tells you what you are going to find.
Then we move. It is guided the whole way through, small and slow rather than big, and you can do every part of it in a chair. Nobody is left standing in the middle of the room wondering what to do, and nothing here is free-form dance. Along the way there is one simple question: what does your body like, right now?
Then you draw two things, with paper and pastels and no skill at all: the old idea that feels too tight, and something of what turns you on now. Then we say it out loud, for as long as we want, and it is received without comment or advice. Sharing is a big part of what makes this circle work, and you choose how much and what. You never have to give details you'd rather keep. You can talk about the drawing, or simply pass.
At the end you write the old idea on a slip of paper, tear it up and drop it in a bowl. Nobody reads it. And you take home ten minutes, for the morning, to keep asking the same question.
If you are not sure you want anything at all
Plenty of women arrive at this kind of work and find very little. A flatness, a distance, a "not really bothered". If that is you, you are in good company, and the morning has room for it.
Not knowing what you want right now is a real answer. It has a shape and a place, like anything else, and we go and find out what kind it is. And the morning is built so that even a woman who cannot find much can very often still feel the difference between how her body was when she arrived and how it is afterwards.
What this is, and what it is not
Fully clothed, all morning. Most of the touch is your own hands, on your own body, over your clothes. If I invite you to work in pairs, any touch between women is always asked for and always your choice, and you can work on your own instead without explaining why.
Nothing sexual happens in this room. We talk about desire, and some of what we do might stir something in your body, and those are not the same thing. If it happens, it is welcome and it does not need reporting or stopping.
Nobody is fixed, nobody is analysed, and nothing you say gets advice thrown at it. You can pause, rest, sit down or step out at any point, and you never have to explain why.
Whatever you decided about yourself a long time ago, January is a good month to look again.
Book below.
Practical details
When: Sunday 24th January 2027, 11:00am to 1:30pm. Doors open 10:45.
Where: A warm, private home in North London (N11). The address is in your booking confirmation, and I'll send you a reminder a day or two before. Please note it is a first-floor flat, one flight of stairs up, and there is no step-free access to this circle.
Bring: Comfortable clothes you can move in. Everything else is here. Herbal teas and water are available throughout.
Group size: Small, often three or four women. It is designed that way.
Investment: Community £15 | Standard £20 | Supporter £25. This circle uses community pricing, so please choose the tier that reflects your situation. Standard covers the cost of running the morning. Supporter helps keep a community place open for another woman.
Coming to more than one? There are two passes. Neither is sold through Eventbrite.
- Year pass, £180 for all twelve 2027 circles, which is £15 a circle. You can also pay it as £15 a month for twelve months.
- Six-circle pass, £100, for any six of the year's circles.
- Try one first. If you book a single circle and buy a pass within a week of attending, what you paid for that ticket comes off the pass.
Passes are paid by Stripe link or bank transfer, so email me and I'll send you the details. Unused circles don't carry over and there is no refund for a circle you miss, but if you can't come to a particular circle you can give your place at it to a friend.
Questions: [email protected] or +44 7876 706910. Ask me anything before you book.
About your facilitator
Melanie Knight is a Certified Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Sex Educator. She creates spaces where women can slow down and reconnect with their bodies, without pressure and without performance. Her approach is trauma-informed and consent-based.
Next month
The Dress You Never Wear, on Sunday 21 February. Bring the thing you have never dared to wear, the one you have opinions about, and find out what your body does when it is looked at kindly by other women.
The year ahead
This is the first of twelve circles, A Year of Your Pleasure: Growing Into Your Desire. Through the year we move from finding out what you want, to dressing and moving the body you have, to breasts, anatomy and pleasure, and end in December with breath and fire. Come to one, or come to them all. Wherever you join, you're growing from where you are.
Women's Circle 2027: A Year of Your Pleasure: Growing Into Your Desire
One Sunday a month, 11:00am to 1:30pm in North London (N11), except June's evening outdoors.
- 24 Jan What Turns You On Now
- 21 Feb The Dress You Never Wear
- 21 Mar Own Your Yes. Own Your No.
- 25 Apr Move Your Hips the Way You Want To
- 23 May The Art of Anticipation
- 20 Jun Sensual in the Wild (evening, outdoors)
- 25 Jul Loud and Proud
- 22 Aug What Your Breasts Know
- 19 Sep Your Breasts, Your Pleasure
- 17 Oct Good Girls Don't
- 14 Nov The Map You Were Never Given
- 12 Dec The Body's Own Fire
Book below.
Event venue
N11, Friern Barnet, London, United Kingdom
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