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https://buytickets.at/petruzzellosbanquetcenter/2502503ATTENTION, CRAWLERS!
NEWWWWW ACHIEVEMENT!
You've been invited to A Dungeon Crawler's Unhinged Party!
Wednesday, November 25, 2026 | Petruzzello's Banquet Center | Troy, MI
Congratulations, you miserable little meat sacks! You've somehow survived long enough to receive an invitation to a party hosted by your favorite emotionally unstable, questionably aroused, all-powerful Dungeon A.I.
After extensively studying human holiday traditions for approximately 4.7 seconds, I have ABSOLUTELY PERFECTED your primitive little celebrations. You're welcome. Any claims of psychological trauma, bodily harm, or gross misinterpretation of human customs are completely unfounded.
Carl is already questioning his life choices. Princess Donut has demanded VIP treatment, and Mongo is absolutely fucking appalled.
And you? You're about to have the best night of your increasingly pathetic existence.
REWAAAAARD!
Your admission includes:
NACHO APOCALYPSE! A build-your-own nacho buffet. Because nothing says survival like questionable quantities of melted cheese.
DESSERT APOTHECARY! Sugar. Poor decisions. Possible regret.
ONE ENTRY INTO LOOT BOX ROULETTE! Will you receive something magnificent or something deeply disappointing? Yes.
DUNGEON CRAWLER TRIVIA BINGO! Prove your intelligence. Or publicly demonstrate its absence.
COSTUME CONTESTS, BEST "GODDAMMIT, DONUT!" CONTEST & MORE! Humiliate yourself for the entertainment of others.
MULTIPLE THEMED PHOTO OPS! Document your rapidly declining dignity.
SHITLOADS OF GIVEAWAYS, SURPRISES & CHANCES TO EARN STAT POINTS! Your participation might improve your character. Your personality, unfortunately, is beyond repair.
Dairy-free, gluten-free, and vegan options available. Even the Dungeon A.I. recognizes dietary restrictions. How disgustingly considerate.
ALSO AVAILABLE:
THE DESPERADO CLUB: Cocktails and mocktails to help you forget your terrible decisions.
Professional photo packages: Because your humiliation deserves to be captured in high resolution.
FEELING LIKE A BALLER, CRAWLER?
Why mingle with the common dungeon trash when you can purchase your way into a completely undeserved sense of superiority?
Upgrade to THE SYNDICATE EXECUTIVE TABLE!
Gather your favorite 10 degenerates and enjoy reserved VIP seating, a dramatically flaming Baked Alaska, upgraded photo packages for every guest, dedicated photographer time, bonus prize entries, and your very own CELESTIAL LOOT BOX!
Only 3 executive tables available. Because exclusivity is just another word for making you peasants jealous.
Come dressed as your favorite character. Form alliances. Make enemies. Collect achievements. Win prizes.
+10 FESTIVE SPIRIT!
+15 NAUGHTINESS!
-100 DIGNITY!
Now, here's a little question for you, crawler...
Will you survive the night, or will your spectacularly stupid decisions finally catch up with you?
NOW GET OUT THERE AND FA, LA, LA!
Ticket prices are subject to additional checkout fees. The Borant Corporation appreciates your financial sacrifice.
https://buytickets.at/petruzzellosbanquetcenter/2502503
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Event venue
Petruzzello's, 6950 Rochester Rd, Troy, MI 48085-1258, United States
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