The Unwritten Contract: Power, Consent and The Terms You Never Agreed To

Date and Time: September 26, 2026 at 4:00 PM (Eastern Time)

Location: Main Street Library

This event explores the frameworks of power and consent that often govern our relationships without our explicit agreement. Drawing on the example of the kink community, which created a vocabulary for negotiation, limits, and accountability from scratch, we will examine how these concepts apply beyond intimate contexts—such as your job, family, friendships, and volunteer roles.

Topics include:

• Consent as a condition—freely given, reversible, informed, and specific—and how it relates to everyday roles.
• Capacity versus intention—recognizing when you are at partial capacity and the cost of overcommitting.
• Power fatigue—the exhaustion that comes with authority and the possibility of requesting rest without stigma.
• Authority without accountability—identifying roles with unchecked power and why phrases like "We're all adults here" are insufficient.
• The unspoken rules—who sets them, who benefits, and the impact of leaving them unaddressed.
• The avoided conversation—how postponing difficult talks only magnifies their weight over time.

This is not a discussion about sex or explicit content. Instead, we will borrow this important vocabulary and apply it to everyday life and relationships.

Event venue

Main Street Library, 110 Main Street, Newport News, United States

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