Lean In, Let Go: The Sensual Science of Gentle Control

Control isn’t about size or strength. It’s about connection. 🤝

Many of us associate physical control with power and strength, and leadership with aggression instead of assertiveness. This belief can keep people from stepping into a role they want to embody due to not feeling that they have the size or strength to do so, or push them toward strategies that work against connection or their own capabilities. There are plenty of resources on controlling someone through force, aggression, or technique (martial arts, kink-wrestling, CNC) or through words (psychological play, hypnosis). There are very few on doing it through somatic connection.

This class fills that gap. Like a dance, it is a conversation of bodies. 💃🕺

At its heart, this is a workshop in sensual connection. 💞 You’ll learn to lead, follow, and communicate through touch, so that control becomes something you create together.

Section 1: The Body’s “Cheat Codes” 🎮
Just like a video game, the human body has cheat codes. Press the right buttons in the right order and predictable things happen. Pressing harder doesn’t help, it just damages the controller.

• 🌬️ How breath leads movement, and how your breath and body guide your partner’s
• 🪞 Nervous system mirroring: calm and smooth invites calm and smooth
• ✋ Blending touch, heavy hands, rocking, and compression to build a felt connection

Section 2: Moving Your Partner Where You Want Them

• ⚖️ Leading from the body’s balance points
• 🔄 Pulling leads, pushing leads, and leading from your core instead of your limbs
• 🔥 The difference between aggressive and assertive

Section 3: Stopping, Placing & Positioning 🛑

• Using momentum and range to stop, place, and position your partner
• Slow, intentional head, neck, and hair control

Section 4: Adding Sensation, Breath, Narration, Attention, and Commands ✨

• Sensation is the seasoning that flavors the experience. The pieces we add in to fill the static spaces and balance dynamic movement with sensual stillness and anticipation.

Section 5: Bringing Someone Down ⬇️

• Safely guiding a partner to their knees and to the floor
• Floor work: crawling, rolling, and pinning

• 🙋 Challenge By Choice. Participate as much or as little as feels right for you. If something feels uncomfortable or unsure, Thorne will help you find an alternative. You can sit out at any time and rejoin for the next exercise.
• 💬 Consent at every step. Partners check in before each exercise, including which areas to avoid or approach with care.
• 🫶 Trauma-aware. Everyone arrives with different experiences of touch and control, and some people carry trauma in their bodies. Not everyone knows in advance what might bring it up, so we engage with intention and curiosity.
• 🧘 No struggles. If you find yourself in a struggle, change the path you’re leading.
• 🩺 Led by a medical professional. Thorne is a medical professional.

This class is about consensual, cooperative play. Like dance, both partners want to engage and create a flow together. 🌊

It is not designed to teach how to control someone who wants to resist, fight back, or prove themselves superior. When play turns into a contest, it only ends one of two ways. Either the Top no longer feels safe or motivated to continue, or there is a power struggle where escalating force can go too far. Neither one serves connection. This class is about building it. 💞

All workshops are hands-on and experiential rather than lecture format. You will learn a concept, practice it, then roll it into the next concept. 🔁

While techniques are presented, Thorne focuses on the concepts and heuristics that make them work, so participants leave with the ability to make these skills their own rather than relying on rote memorization.

Thorne is an experiential education specialist, professional facilitator, neuromuscular therapist, and pro-Dom. As a professional educator and facilitator of over 20 years, Thorne has worked across all areas of education and has founded or run multiple education/recreation companies, and has trained hundreds of professional educators and thousands of participants around the world. 🌍

His passion for teaching centers around breaking complex concepts into easily digestible building blocks and helping people develop healthy interpersonal and somatic communication skills. His “Language of Touch” workshops cover topics including understanding myriad different kinds of touch and what they communicate, various kinds of body work, and kink/BDSM skills. His particular blend of experiential education, play, humor, and breadth of interdisciplinary knowledge make his workshops engaging, active, and accessible to everyone. 🎭

Outside of work, Thorne is an avid outdoorsman, martial artist, and dancer. 🏔️🥋💃

🌱 Do I need any experience?
No experience necessary.

🔄 Is this only for Tops/Doms?
No. Everyone will practice both roles.

🚫 Is there nudity or sexual contact?
No nudity or sexual contact.

👕 What should I wear and bring?
Comfortable clothes that you can move freely in. No need to bring anything else, though we recommend a water bottle. 💧

👥 Do I need to bring a partner, or can I come solo?
Either! In this class, participants will be encouraged to work with different partners and given frequent opportunities to switch. However, people who come as a couple are welcome to stay with that person the entire time.

🧘 What are the physical requirements?
This is a class of active but gentle movement. Accommodations can be made for alter-abled participants, mobility limits, etc.

🙋 What if something makes me uncomfortable?
This workshop is fully Challenge By Choice. Participants can choose to step in or out as works best for them, and there is no pressure to do anything that doesn’t feel aligned in the moment.

🔞 Is there an age requirement?
Yes, all participants must be 21+.

🏳️‍🌈 Is this class LGBTQ+ and gender-inclusive?
Yes, completely inclusive.

🍃 Is this a sober space?
Yes, this is a sober space.

📸 Will there be photos? Can I use my phone?
There may be a photographer present. Participants can opt out of being in any photos. Personal recording is not allowed, although phones can be used for notes.

⏰ What if I arrive late?
All concepts build upon each other. We will start with a required safety and consent orientation, after which no one will be admitted into the container. Please arrive on time.

♿ Is the venue accessible?
This event’s venue has stairs and no elevator.

🎟️ What is the refund policy?
No refunds, but tickets can be transferred to another event.

Event venue

Youtopia, 128 Jefferson Avenue, Brooklyn, United States

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