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Your Drunk Uncle Seeks Libertarian Nomination for Congress, OH CD5Galion, OH - On Friday, February 20th, Michael Veloff registered as a write-in candidate for the Libertarian nomination for U.S. Representative for the 5th Congressional district.
Veloff's campaign is much inspired by Father of the Nation, George Washington, who spent lavishly on booze in his election to the House of Burgesses, in that he believes elections should involve a lot more drinking to get through. "I'm seeking the Libertarian nomination representing a core constituency of the Libertarian party: uncles with a lot of opinions at Thanksgiving," Veloff said.
His campaign emphasis is on monetary reforms. The expansion of gold, silver, and crypto-all of which he possesses but won't reveal the location of-as legal tender. Not being able to pay for the filing fee in silver was deeply shocking to him. "You used to be able to pay your taxes in Ohio in crypto. What happened to that? I thought this was a free country!" Veloff noted, quite reasonably.
Another campaign priority is moving the U.S. Bullion Depository from Fort Knox to Ohio citing the immense trust that can be put in Ohioans, one in particular. "I have a big basement, there's plenty of room for all the gold. Plus space for a few servers for the crypto reserve too." Veloff explained, "Of course I own a gun, it'll be completely safe. No one will even know where it is."
"Michael is very passionate about liberty, among other things. Sometimes too many things." Said Veloff's campaign manager who wishes to remain anonymous, "And I can guarantee you're going to hear about them. Everyone in this district and then everyone in Congress. Really you won't be able to avoid it, unfortunately."
As a write-in candidate with no expected opposition, Veloff must receive 25 write-in votes in the Libertarian primary in May to qualify for the general election in November. A district-wide campaign is planned to encourage voters to vote in the Libertarian primary "since the duopoly primaries are decided anyway" Veloff said. The campaign will include teaching voters how to spell Michael Veloff, " thought literacy tests were illegal" Michael grumbled.
Contact: Michael Veloff
Email: [email protected]
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