About this Event
Get Closer. Feel Safer.
Can you imagine a world where no one feared a violation of their boundaries? A world where everyone felt safe in their bodies and confident in asking for what they want? Practice, education, + empathy is how we get there! Cuddles + Consent is a community playshop experience for adults age 18+
Asking for what you want is hard! Do you sometimes say yes to things you don't really want? Don't feel bad - being brave + living authentically doesn't come naturally. It's a skill you can learn like anything else!
We will talk about, role play, + practice these essential life skills in a queer-centered, trauma-informed container.
“I came for the cuddles. I left with a foundation upon which to build healthier, happier & more fulfilling relationships.”These interactive, intentional exercises will explore skills that build relational intelligence + positive, reciprocal relationships.
We cover topics like:
- Collaboration in consent
- Power + Privilege: What makes it hard to speak up?
- Trauma Responses: Noticing activation with interoception
- Self Soothing: Techniques to ground
- Manipulation + Coercion: Recognizing red flags
- Backup, not backlash: How to repair when we mess up
- Desire Smuggling: How to ask directly
- What if I'm a maybe? Sensing into the edges of desire
- No is a complete sentence!
- Changing your mind
Dismantle the culture of coercion that we've been conditioned to expect by creating safety, fun, and ease!DEPROGRAM your people-pleasing + conflict avoidance.
Exercises are based on Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent framework and Creating Consent Culture by Marcia Baczynski + Erica Scott
Testimonials
"I came to this class not knowing what to expect. I signed up because I’m generally comfortable experiencing new things. This class stretched me in great ways!
In the past I’ve had difficulty asking for what I want — + frankly even understanding what I want. Is this something I actually want or is it something others have conditioned me to want? This class was amazingly helpful to me.
I was able to experience the feeling of saying Yes + saying No in a context that was completely safe. Its clear I’m at the beginning of my journey but I do plan on going back!
I’d suggest this class to anyone looking to create a safe place for themselves and others and looking for connection after COVID. I hope to attend next time + participate more!" - H.K.
“Learning to tune into my desire & express what I truly want. Practicing facing rejection and sitting with the uncomfortable feelings that arise. Reframing rejection as healthy boundary setting. Experiencing the joy and exhiliration of receiving a YES. Learning to check-in and make adjustments throughout. Getting into the nuances of it all and safely experimenting. Much needed platonic physical, mental and emotional connection. These are some of my many takeaways from Lior’s thoughtful, carefully designed Cuddles and Consent workshop. I aim to apply these lessons to all my relationships."
"Lior! The cuddle workshop was fantastic. Thanks so much for your work. Your playful energy + clear instruction made it a safe place to be brave + ask for what I wanted.
I got to know myself better because of my experience. It has been great for my understanding + communication about what kinds of relationships I want." Elisha C.
Community Agreements
We are each responsible for our own energy. To create a brave space, we agree to follow these boundaries:
- Listen with curiosity + speak from experience using "I" statements + making space for those who talk less often.
- Maintain confidentiality, what happens in circle stays in circle.
- Show up! Respect everyone's experience by arriving to class 5 min early set up rather than interrupting the experience with late arrivals. Doors close 10 min after class starts. No late entries or early departures, it interrupts the experience for everyone.
- Honor your limits! Be honest about your capabilities. Your needs are not an inconvenience. You are autonomous over your experience. Advocate for yourself, what you want + what you enjoy! You can sit out on any part of the workshop that makes you feel uncomfortable.
- You may feel ?*???? energy awaken within your body, that is welcome + OK! However, we don't act on our arousal, or subject others to non-consenting involvement in our arousal experience.
- Unplug! This is a lucid + tech-free event. Leave your phone OFF and IN YOUR CAR, do not bring it into the studio.
- Arrive sober with no substances on your person.
- Clothing: Wear your comfiest layers! This is a topless-equality space, but undergarments must remain on and no hands are permitted beneath layers. Think PJ party style!
Meet Your Instructor
A certified cuddlist, Usui Reiki Master, and Yogi, Lior Allay is a holistic healer with comprehensive training blending a spectrum of ancient yoga traditions with modern trauma-informed somatics, dance, + the latest data science for a flexible approach to self-discovery that is accessible for people from all walks of life.
They specialize in creating body-positive experiences for healing shame + unlocking human potential. They believe in the transformative power of nudity to find peace in our bodies & build intentional community through moments of genuine connection.
Come experience the magic for yourself!
Beginners need not worry: Lior specializes in providing options for all ability levels so that your practice is customized to your body’s needs.
What is Sliding Scale Ticket Pricing?
Please be mindful...
...if you purchase a price at the lowest end of the scale when you can truthfully afford the higher ticket prices, you are limiting access to those who truly need the gift of financial flexibility.
Being honest with yourself + your financial situation when engaging with sliding scale practices grows strong + sustainable communities based in justice. It also respects the work of teachers + creators, like myself, you have families to support + rent to pay.
When I am paid fairly, I am able to invest more time + resources to free + lower cost offerings.Secure:The highest cost reflects the true cost of the class or service. It is the cost that the practitioner would charge all students in the absence of a sliding scale.
IF:
- You have access to financial security, own property or have personal savings
- You have relationship resources + can ask others for financial support, such as family members, partners, or friends
- You are able to pay for "wants" + spend little time worried about securing necessities in your life
THEN:
- You have economic security, privilege, + power in our community
- This price is for you.
The middle cost reflects the practitioner's acknowledgement that paying the full cost would prevent some folks from being able to attend, but who do not honestly find themselves reflected in either descriptions for the highest cost or the lowest.
IF:
- You are struggling to conquer debt or build savings or move away from paycheck to paycheck living but have access to steady income
- Your basic needs are met
- You are not spending most of your time thinking about meeting basic needs such as food, shelter, medical care, child care, etc
THEN:
- You have economic stability in our community
- This price is for you
FOR: BIPOC (non-white), SWrs, pregnant or postpartum mothers, trans (not cis-gendered not heterosexual), disabled, Femmes, fat bodies +/ neurodiverse community members
The bottom cost represents an honest acknowledgment by the teacher and practitioner that there are folks whose economic circumstances would prevent them from being a part of classes if there was not be a deliberate opportunity made for them to access services at a cost that is reflective of their economic realities.
IF:
- You struggle to maintain access to basic needs such as health care, housing, food, child care, etc
- You are living paycheck to paycheck, are under or unemployed, + are in significant debt
- You are rarely able to purchase new items
THEN:
- You need economic support from our community.
- You belong here, this price is for you.
- You deserve a community that honors your price as equal an economic offering as the person who can pay the highest tier.
Event Venue & Nearby Stays
The Nest, North Philly (Exact Address Delivered with Ticket), Philadelphia, United States
USD 40.00 to USD 200.00