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A Voice of Understanding –Relationship & Marriage Counse:l Florence Etornam Nunoamesi Owu
My dear hearts, Today, I want to speak not as someone who knows everything, but as someone who understands pain, love, mistakes, growth, and hope. Because love is not a straight road; it is a journey filled with turns, pauses, tears, laughter, silence, and learning. Many people come into relationships thinking love is only about happiness. But love is deeper than happiness. Love is patience when you are tired. Love is choosing to stay gentle when you are hurt. Love is learning to listen, not just to respond, but to truly understand. Let me say this clearly: no relationship survives without understanding. Not beauty. Not money. Not romance alone. Understanding. Understanding means seeing your partner beyond their reactions. It means asking, “What hurt you?” instead of saying, “Why are you like this?” It means remembering that sometimes anger is just pain wearing a loud voice. In marriage and relationships, people don’t argue because they hate each other. They argue because they feel unheard, unseen, or unappreciated. Most hearts are not asking for perfection they are begging for effort, reassurance, and emotional safety. I want you to understand something very important: Your partner is not your enemy. The problem is the problem not the person. When communication breaks down, love begins to feel heavy. But silence is not peace. Silence is often a cry that says, “Please notice me.” If your partner goes quiet, don’t assume they don’t care. Sometimes they are just tired of explaining themselves and not being understood. Love requires humility. It takes humility to say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” It takes maturity to say, “Help me understand your feelings.” And it takes courage to choose forgiveness again and again. Marriage is not about winning arguments. It is about protecting the bond. You don’t win by proving your partner wrong; you win by preserving love. Let me speak to the hearts that are hurting: If you have been disappointed, betrayed, or emotionally neglected your feelings are valid. Pain should never be ignored. But healing begins when you decide whether you want to be right or you want to be whole. And to those who have caused pain intentionally or unintentionally accountability is love in action. Saying “That’s just how I am” is not growth. Growth says, “I see how my actions affected you, and I want to do better.” Real love is not loud all the time. Sometimes it is quiet consistency. Showing up. Checking in. Listening without defending yourself. Holding hands even after disagreements. Marriage and relationships thrive when both people feel safe safe to speak, safe to cry, safe to be imperfect. Love should feel like a home, not a battlefield. I always remind couples of this truth: The goal is not to find the perfect person. The goal is to become safe people for each other. Pray together. Talk often. Apologize sincerely. Laugh freely. Forgive deeply. And never stop choosing each other even on the days when choosing feels hard. Because love is not just a feeling; love is a decision made daily. And when two people decide to understand each other instead of fighting each other, love doesn’t just survive it grows stronger, wiser, and more beautiful with time. Thank you 🤍
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