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Step into an evening of sharp wit, cosmic mischief, and unforgettable laughs as The Usual Suspects take over Astronomía!Doors open at 6pm so you can settle in early and explore our lineup of non‑alcoholic, ambrosia‑level mocktails, crafted for celestial flavor and sold separately.
The show kicks off at 7pm with a stellar cast ready to keep you laughing all night.
The following individuals are considered dangerous...ly funny and are wanted for questioning in connection with multiple counts of Laughter Disturbing the Peace, Intent to Hilariously Harm, and Grand Theft (of a moment of silence). Proceed with caution.
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👤 Suspect: SARINA OCHOA
Alias: The Knockout
Charges: Disturbing the Peace, Battery (of the audience’s ribs)
Known Associates: The Albuquerque Comedy Scene, The ABQ Funny Fiesta, Rise Comedy Festival, and the Latina Comedy Festival.
Modus Operandi: Originally a professional MMA Fighter, she abandoned her gloves for the microphone, claiming she "discovered she was funny." Her physical career was "cut short" when she realized her jokes hit harder than her jabs.
Prior Offenses:
2024: Earned Runner-Up in ABQ's infamous One Liner Madness competition.
Infiltration of the Colorado Queer Comedy Festival and the Colorado Springs Comedy Festival.
👤 Suspect: TITO DAMERON
Alias: The Maestro of Mayhem
Charges: Conspiracy to Improvise, Theatrical Grand Larceny, and Unauthorized Use of Jazz
Known Associates: The Box Improv Theatre (where he also conducts "training exercises"), The Dinner Detective (where he serves as a "main host and lead detective"—a dangerous double agent).
Modus Operandi: A Florida Transplant who has suspiciously "learned to love red chile." He infiltrates venues with a "loose, energetic style," quickly making his mark and becoming a "Comedy Power Hour Champion."
Distinguishing Marks: Prone to listening to Jazz, but like, for real.
Prior Offenses: Hosts a weekly open mic in Nob Hill, clearly attempting to corrupt others into his chaotic lifestyle.
👤 Suspect: Megan Finn
Alias: The Dirty Mind
Charges: Illegal Delivery of Mind-Blowing Material, Unlicensed Therapy
Known Associates: Her unsuspecting daytime therapy clients.
Modus Operandi: A Therapist by day, making her the perfect operative to understand and exploit the human psyche. She uses this knowledge to deliver jokes that will have your "minds blown."
Distinguishing Marks: May or may not have been nicknamed the "dirtiest comic in Albuquerque." Only those who attend her show can confirm her guilt.
Prior Offenses: Runs a second, secret career as a comic "when she can."
👤 Suspect: HANNAH JOY
Alias: Dark Heart
Charges: Possession of a Dark Sense of Humor, Interstate Commerce of Comedy
Known Associates: Zoltan Kaszas and Katherine Blanford (she has opened for them—suggesting she is part of their inner circle).
Modus Operandi: Hails from Dallas, but performs regularly throughout Texas and New Mexico, proving her ability to cross state lines and jurisdictions without detection.
Distinguishing Marks: Has "great hair," which is thought to be a distraction technique to mask her "dark sense of humor."
Prior Offenses: Repeatedly seen on stage in multiple states.
👤 Suspect: CARLA VASQUEZ
Alias: The Nature Disruptor
Charges: High-Energy Hijinks, Cultural Contraband (Latino, Queer), Informative Misdemeanors
Known Associates: Sheng Wang (she has opened for him), Jim Jeffries and Laurie Kilmartin (she has hosted for them).
Modus Operandi: Raised in National Parks—clearly skilled at navigating unpredictable environments. Her joke material is sourced from nature, Latino culture, and her queer identity.
Prior Offenses: Known for "silly energetic" times on stage, often delivering jokes that are "informative, dark or dirty." She is a triple threat of comedic criminality.
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Event Venue & Nearby Stays
4714 4th St NW, Albuquerque, NM 87107, United States
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