The Rupture to Repair Workshop: Prevent Conflicts with High Schoolers

This small window of opportunity can have huge impacts on how you and your children relate to each other now and into the future.

This is when your kids are coming into their own and figuring out their values, interests, and identity, independent of you as their parent.

You are now moving away from your role as manager and auditioning for your role as (unpaid) consultant.

The only way to get the job? Build trust when there’s a conflict. Easier said than done.

Why? Because they’re scared that you’re not going to support their choices. So, rather than find out, they’re going to experiment without your knowledge. (Remind you of someone?)

The question is: How are you going to handle that when it happens?

The my-way-or-the-highway approach or let them walk all over you.

The problem is, both of these options tend to lead to more sneaking around.

One that will create an environment of trust and connection so that you can have peace of mind that your children are making choices that truly serve them and consider others, including you.

• Why compromise doesn't work in the long run and the mindset shift that makes conflict prevention and repair possible
• A streamlined four step process for preventing and resolving conflicts that results in win-win solutions for everyone
• How to avoid the common pitfalls that escalate conflict despite your best intentions
• How to make requests —not demands—while remaining confident that you won’t give up on what’s important to you

• You’ve tried a million things but can’t stop the same fights about issues like chores, screentime, and how your kids’ treat each other from happening.
• You’re sick of being a pushover or police officer (sometimes both on the same day).
• You don't want to fight with your partner about how to handle conflict with your kids
• You’re scared that your inability to handle conflicts is corroding your kids’ trust in you and, as a result, your kids aren’t telling you what’s really going on for them
• You fear that these ongoing conflicts are hurting your kids’ relationships with their siblings now and in the future.

• Everyone in the family (finally) getting along.
• Building real trust and open communication with each other.
• Peace of mind that your kids will ask you for help when they need it and won’t sneak around.
• Confidence that if a fight does happen, it’s not going to ruin everyone’s day or dinner and you’ll learn something from it.
• Siblings handling their conflicts on their own in a healthy, productive way.

Provided they genuinely want to come. You can tell them this is a chance to find out how they can get more of what they want, more of the time, in a way that works for everybody.

I’ve spent the last two decades learning, practicing, and teaching hundreds of parents how to prevent family conflicts. I started doing this work because I decided that I wouldn’t have kids until I had tools to do things differently than my (well-intentioned and loving) parents did. I have two kids who are now 15 and 18.

by their kids, their partners, their in-laws, other parents, and (the harshest critics of all) themselves. I see what every family member does through a judgment-free lens, which results in robust, compassionate conflict transformation.

I majored in Chinese in college, produced a podcast at a food truck park, and perform monologues like Date Night at Pet Emergency and the Mommy Meltdown Show. I also love square dancing and tandem pedal kayaks.

You’ve probably noticed that I don’t have any letters after my name. That’s because the skills you need to prevent conflicts and repair ruptures don’t require a degree in mental health. They’re accessible to everyone. My clients and I are living proof of that.

Event Venue & Nearby Stays

Monta Vista High School, 21840 McClellan Road, Cupertino, United States