I don't always feel like letting things out. It's most difficult when you're still in the fog, digging your way out of trauma. A battle field in your mind and heart. Landmines all about. Trying to get out from the water and breathe deeply knowing you're going to make it.
Somehow make it out to see another day. Cause that's what it is, a war zone.
Years and years spent afraid and alone. In my case, 39 years. Decades filled with anguish and hurt, betrayed by those you loved the most. No place to call home..always unwelcome, unwanted. Starved for love and acceptance. Used, lied to, beaten down.
And you try to fill the voids you know, you fucking try. Like an idiot trying to prove its worth to a world that has none. That's my world... Cruel, cold and dark with little specks of light. Just a little spark to keep you going, praying, pleading. And you start to wonder to what end?
With all the ends lined up, you shift into new beginnings. New and old motivations start to fuse and you realise that no matter the depth of the sink hole, you wont stop until you're clear of the mud. Or atleast until you've placed your children on safer pastures. For fuck knows they deserve only good things.
Though we cannot always keep them unscathed, god knows pain is necessary, they will thrive with the knowledge placed on them and they too will grow. They will grow to understand, to forgive, to stand tall.
If all in vein for myself, I dare say this is for my kids. Judgement may fall, but I will not whither away from truth and light...it did not serve us to plunder about in a facade, a masquerade... And now that I have continued to stand...may the world see that we are ready to be uplifted and loved. The way I have uplifted and loved my children for them to only seek the truth. To feel the hurt, the betrayal , the hunger and the reality of what a heart is and what love can do.
It's no fairytale.... Just a journey towards something bigger than our imaginations.
Love you all!
~Mom~
Event Venue
Eastern Cape, South Africa, Port Elizabeth, Eastern Cape, South Africa
Tickets
