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16 POINTS TO NOTE IF YOU DARE TO BE A SECOND WIFE.***********************************
1. Make sure he marries you culturally and pay your dowry in full.
2. Let all the chief members of his family be present at the traditional wedding at least 80% of them if not the family does not recognize you and you are not a wife.
3. Make sure you have a well paid job and / a solid source of income that earns you huge money personally. Only the rich women can survive as second wife.
4. Stay where he puts you, don't pokenose to your co wives affairs. Ma koja aaye re o ki o ma ba kan abuku.
5. Don't expect maximum or 100% attention, a man in polygyny can never have your time everyday. And don't put the whole of your mind to rely on him or think he will always be there for you otherwise you might end up like Bolanle who poisoned herself.
6. Prepare for the worse at anytime (the man can return to his first wife permanently abandon you and your children even if the woman has left him before, she can decide to come back since there is competition now) Don't think he will abandon his first wife for you, as a matter of fact you are the one he is likely to abandon for the first so don't be deluded by the initial love most time it is just a mirage, but if you have your job and your own money, it might not hurt you too much.
7. Don't let him put you in a luxury life that you cannot personally afford. If you cannot personally renew the subscription to that lifestyle pls don't be carried away especially if you don't have your own money.
8. Don't go there bcos of money, competition, pepper-them or revenge, stay within your confiement and have your own money by working hard.
9. Don't bully or insult anybody bcos life is a pendulum you can be in their shoes tomorrow.
10. If you are not emotionally, spiritual, financially sound, don't go there, remain single.
11. Don't expect s$x all the time, if you don't have self control you can't be a second wife bcos the man might not come to your place for months or even years. A lot of second wives don't enjoy the man many people just see them as demons meanwhile they suffer even more than the first.
12. The moment you come in, the first woman that has left might come back so prepare your mind for that and if you can not cope please stay single or continue your single motherhood.
13. Expect third wife at anytime, since you're not the first then you are not likely to be the last.
14. Don't have too many children, your iyale(s) can use jealousy to kpai the man and if you now have battalion children how will you care for them when their baba is no more? So please make sure the children you are having are those numbers you can single handedly take care of.
15. Don't except acceptance from the society or anybody hold on and anchor on God alone, nobody deserves to die or commit suicide because a man abandon her and her children God will not leave you.
16) If you are a single mother of many kids. Don't rush to get additional Child o. Or else you will add to the load you are carrying around before and it will very heavy than before.
You need to bring down your number 6 and brush it very well before you can go for second wife. Expecially if you already have child/ren before you want be second wife.
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Event Venue & Nearby Stays
Oke-Oluokun, Ibadan, Nigeria
